Thursday, September 30, 2010

Coming of Age...All Over Again: The Ultimate Midlife Handbook

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Sep 30, 2010 04:42:05


Best friends Kate Klimo and Buffy Shutt are prototypical baby boomer women--they've both gotten married, had kids, built their careers, and somehow managed to juggle it all. But as Kate and Buffy approached 50, they suddenly found themselves facing a whole new set of challenges for which they were surprisingly ill-prepared. Buffy suddenly lost her high-powered corporate job…and had to forge a new identity (and career) for herself. Kate's world was turned upside down when her ailing mother came to live with her family.



!1: Best Buy What a lovely book! I found reading this book to be like having lunch with two slightly older, and wiser friends. I came away with so much useful information, as well as a comforting sense of affirmation--these are things we all need to remember, things that we all go through. As a woman in my early thirties, I honestly wasn't sure how much of the book would apply to me, but I was pleasantly surprised. Topics of balancing your work/personal life, maintaining the sparkle in your marriage, and dealing with aging parents all seemed perfectly suited to things I think and worry about. I'm sure it will bear re-reading as I get older, as well. Possibly the best part of the book is that the authors strike a nice balance with the advice--it's never preachy, and their fallible examples from their own lives make sure of that. I'll definitely buy it as a gift! on Sale!


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Sunday, September 19, 2010

A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People

!1: Now is the time A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People Order Today!


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Sep 19, 2010 11:42:37


New York Times bestselling author Joan Anderson gives women practical advice and inspiration for building creative, independent, and fulfilling lives through discovering who they truly are and who they can be.

Like Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, Joan Anderson’s bestselling A Year by the Sea revealed a far larger than expected constituency, in the form of thousands of women struggling to realize their full potential. After years of focusing on the needs of others as a wife and mother, Anderson devoted a year to rediscovering herself and reinvigorating her dreams. The questions she asked herself and the insights she gained became the core of the popular weekend workshops Anderson developed to help women figure out how—after being all things to all people—they can finally become what they need to be for themselves. A Weekend to Change Your Life brings Anderson’s techniques to women everywhere, providing a step-by-step path readers can follow at their own pace.

Drawing on her own life and on the experiences of the women she meets at her workshops, Anderson shows women how to move beyond the roles they play in relationship to others and reclaim their individuality. Through illustrations and gentle instruction, she illuminates the rewards of nurturing long-neglected talents, revitalizing plans sacrificed to the demands of family life, and redefining oneself by embracing new possibilities.

Wake Up, Sister. It’s Your Turn

A full life requires cultivation. The minute we take our hands off the plow, fail to reseed, forget to fertilize, we’ve lost our crop. And yet, most women I know, while in the service of some greater good have let their very lives wilt on the vine.

Having been taught the fine art of accommodation, most of us have developed a knack for selfless behavior. We’ve dulled our personal lives while propping up everyone else’s, and we’re no longer able even to imagine having any sort of adventure, romance, meaning, or purpose for ourselves. In short, we’ve gotten way off track and taken the wrong road to self-satisfaction, foolishly thinking that after all of the doing, giving, trying, and overworking someone will offer us a reward. But Prince Charming was a bad joke and all the fairy godmothers are dead. Instead of happy ever after, most of us end up with the ache. We wake up each day with an inner gnawing, a hunger for more, a craving for an overhaul, but we are too listless, tired, or depressed to do anything about it. We have spent the greater part of our lives pouring ourselves out like a pitcher. No wonder we feel so empty. But we lack the necessary energy, a helpful roadmap, and any type of guidance and support. Well, it’s time to change all of that.

—From A Weekend to Change Your Life



!1: Best Buy Having attended three of Joan Anderson's weekends over a ten year period, I was thrilled to see that this book was available to help those who don't have the time or money to travel to Cape Cod and spend a weekend in retreat. It is also a great tune up for those who have attended retreats. But it is most of all a way to have your own retreat at home alone or with a group of friends. It is a step by step guide to understanding yourself as your life changes and through that understanding to empower yourself to make the changes you know you need so that you can become the person you really are. Especially helpful for middle aged women who have spent a life fulfilling the expectations and needs of others, this book shows you how to take the time to recognize, understand and fulfill your own wishes, needs and desires. It is an excellent step by step guide for holding your own retreat with exercises, explanations and examples from Joan and other retreaters' own stories. Take a weekend away or just do a chapter a day/week. Spend the time to find your authentic self and the happiness you deserve. on Sale!


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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult

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Sep 08, 2010 20:00:26


In this colorful, eye-opening memoir, Jayanti Tamm offers an unforgettable glimpse into the hidden world of growing up “cult” in mainstream America. Through Jayanti’s fascinating story–the first book to chronicle Sri Chinmoy–she unmasks a leader who convinces thousands of disciples to follow him, scores of nations to dedicate monuments to him, and throngs of celebrities (Sting, Pope John Paul II, Nelson Mandela) to extol him.

When the short, bald man in flowing robes prophesizes Jayanti to be the “Chosen One,” her life is forever entwined with the charismatic guru Sri Chinmoy, who declares himself a living god. A god who performs sit-ups and push-ups in front of thousands as holy ritual, protects himself with a platoon of bodyguards, and bans books, TV, and sex. Jayanti’s unusual and increasingly bizarre childhood is spent shuttling between the ashram in Queens, New York, and her family’s outpost as “Connecticut missionaries.” On the path to enlightenment decreed by Guru, Jayanti scrubs animal cages in his illegal basement zoo, cheerleads as he weight lifts an elephant in her front yard, and trails him around the world as he pursues celebrities such as Princess Diana and Mother Teresa.

But, when her need for enlightenment is derailed by her need for boys, Jayanti risks losing everything that she has ever known, including the person that she was ordained to be. With tenderness, insight, and humor, Jayanti explores the triumphs and trauma of an insider who longs to be an outsider, her hard-won decision to finally break free, and the unique challenges she confronts as she builds a new life.



!1: Best Buy Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult is the fascinating autobiography of Jayanti Tamm's life as the chosen one of Sri Chinmoy. Until age 25, she and her entire family's life surrounded and revolved around Chinmoy and they were amongst the closest in his inner circle. In the book, Tamm writes in often raw detail about her life amongst the `Guru'.

Tamm's parents were early followers of Chinmoy, and her father ultimately became his legal counsel. Her parents joined Chinmoy in the 1970's when Eastern philosophies were becoming ubiquitous. The United States became a haven for various gurus, yogis and other spiritual teachers; from Werner Erhard's est to Chinmoy and more.

It was a long road that led to Tamm's dismay with Chinmoy, but much of it has to do with his duplicitous nature, involving publicity stunts and charades around weightlifting. In the book, Tamm writes that the stunts where Chinmoy would seemingly lift elephants, airplanes, and other massive weights were simply done via a weight-balancing device that created the illusion that Chinmoy was lifting the items. In truth, Chinmoy did little and the device barely moved. His followers were oblivious to that, and the scam is one that James Randi could have exposed in a matter of moments.

As part of his goal of creating a larger than life image, Chinmoy's followers claim that he had written 1,500 books, 115,000 poems and 20,000 songs, created 200,000 paintings and had given almost 800 peace concerts. All of that is part of the superpower myths of a guru, which was done to facilitate the representation of Chinmoy as a near deity.

Tamm writes at length how Chinmoy was obsessed with getting endorsements from politicians and celebrities. What is odd is that most politicians, entertainers and celebrities know nothing about spirituality. Chinmoy's obsession with such endorsements was clearly contradictory to what he has advocating.

Tamm was ultimately ejected from Chinmoy's inner circle a few times, in which she repeatedly begged for the Guru's forgiveness and return to his organization. That worked, but when she hit age 25, the division was so significant that she was expelled from the organization, her family forced to cease all contact with her; which in part lead to a suicide attempt. She obviously did not succeed, and did find a way back to a normal life. Ultimately, it is not clear if Tamm found self-fulfillment due to Chinmoy or in spite of him.

While Cartwheels in a Sari depicts Chinmoy as a charlatan, Tamm's writing is mature enough in that she is able to acknowledge that some of those who were searching for their own enlightenment did find it with Chinmoy. She writes that as for Sri Chinmoy himself, it took years before she finally understood that the reason she had a new and richly fulfilling life was because of him. It is that underlying tension between the good Chinmoy and the charlatan that permeates the book.

Yet even with that understanding and compassion, the final chapter of the book reads like that of Luther's posting on the Wittenberg door. Tamm writes that Chinmoy turned far too many of his followers into dependent, mindless, children. Chinmoy, while talking of highly abstract concepts of love, devotion and surrender, never created a formal system or set of moral in which his devotees could follow. She writes that he gave them no ethics, philosophy or ideas that they could integrate; rather they were left with myriad monotonous aphorisms and poems. Devotees simple become Chinmoy figurines.

Tamm's story is a strike against cults and personality figures. Chinmoy exhibited the classic signs of a cult leader, claiming hat enlightenment is his own, the inability to take criticism, acts of omnipotence with no accountability, a focus on enlightenment itself rather than teaching the path leading to it, does not practice what is preached, and much more.

The final chapter details Tamm's suicide attempt, as she felt that the entire Chinmoy experience created an empty space within her, leading to a false life in which nothing around her seemed to be true. It was at that point she saw her Guru, like the emperor, wore no clothes. Since Chinmoy was her weltanschauung, when she was kicked out of Chinmoy's sect, she felt she was left with nothing.

Tam admits her mea culpa in that she clearly broke the sect's rules. But she is incredulous in that Chinmoy could so easily expel long-term devotees such as herself as though they were expendable. In addition, all current family members had to cease any connection with such fallen figures.

Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult is compelling story, one of finding one's own identity, self-redemption, and more, and definitely worth a read.
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